When Advice Is Not Free

The advice I cannot ignore is the one I never get

Kannan Natesan

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Photo by Andre Tan on Unsplash

Are you good at giving advice? Some of you are.

Let’s say the lead character in a movie, a middle-aged man becomes a pauper owing to some bad decisions he made. He has absolutely nothing and nobody to help him, except his vast experience running a successful business. Long after the movie ends, you ruminate over the protagonist’s predicament when he was at his all-time low. And you come up with brilliant, actionable ideas — and they just come to you. If you were to be in that situation, you would be much better off.

Or there is this relative whose career is in mess. She is in the wrong field. She has strengths you can vouch for, but you have no idea why she cannot use her strengths to her advantage and launch a successful career. You have just the right recipe for her success, and it hurts you that she cannot see it.

In finding ideas to get many such people — real-life or fictitious — out of the woods, you display uncanny level-headedness and a keen sense of reasoning.

But, can you use some of these skills to pull yourself out of trouble? To solve a messy problem in your life?

No!

You draw a blank when it comes to your own situation. This is no surprise, as you need a sense of detachment and impartiality to view situations objectively. This is easy when dealing with others’ problems, but not so with your own.

Because there is a conflict of interest — while what you need is disinterest, and you can never act with disinterest in matters concerning yourself.

As you have heard, you cannot “run with the hares and hunt with the hounds” simultaneously. You need to get out of yourself to look at your life from the outside.

I give the best advice. I know this for a fact as I can listen to myself.

But I can’t seem to create an astral projection of myself to be able to view my life objectively.

Perhaps I should hone my Illeist skills, for which I dedicated a post:

I am not sure if I would succeed in doing this, but I am going to try.

But it would be best if I can peep into my own world as an outsider, like if I read it in a story. This protagonist’s life is super-messy and begs for my advice to fix it.

You are such excellent writers. Care to write my biography?

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Kannan Natesan

I am a sucker for elegantly constructed sentences and I love words. Honing my writing skills here. Support writers like me: https://knski.medium.com/membership